Matt Langer

Which means all you assholes out there who think it’s ever OK to wear white are finally about to be morally and legally obligated to wear some proper denim like the rest of us. Also: summer’s almost over! And it was a busy one! So busy that I think it’s worth asking: how will Summer 2k10 be remembered? Which of these will stand as the most enduring/relevant/meaningful/authentic¹ event of this long, hot, sweaty, muggy, humid, searing, wretched fucking New York City summer?

1. “The Artist is Present” (and/or that one bro who cried a lot at Marina Abramović)
2. Lebronukkah
3. Sad Keanu Reeves
4. Antennagate
5. Lindsay Lohan’s perp walk
6. Bros Icing Bros
7. The President’s ignorance of Pitchfork
8. Don Draper’s kinky sex habits
9. Justin Bieber’s face-plant into a revolving door
10. Justin Bieber being pursued on a Segway by a rabid pack of tweens

—

¹ In deference to the longstanding tradition of Nobody Ever Giving A Fuck, Ever, the editors of this list have omitted the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, the Prop 8 court challenge, the 9/11 GROUND ZERO TERRORMOSQUE™, Shirley Sherrod, the end of major combat operations in Iraq, and the floods in Pakistan on the assumption that these have all already been forgotten.