STRESS EATING.
One time a couple years back Patrick and I were having lunch at the Roebling Tea Room, yakking over our Big Baked Pancakes, when suddenly he’s all like “hey so what would you be doing with your life if computers had never been invented?” and I’m all “that’s a really good question!” and he’s all “orly?” and I’m all “have I told you about the time I quit my job to go back to undergrad because computers were making me into a crazy person and all I wanted to do was go get a PhD in comparative literature and spend the rest of my life reading books and being a normal person except it turned out there’s no money in French poetry?” and he’s all “oh, I would’ve been an artist.”
Anyway! So last night it’s like one in the morning and I haven’t slept in 48 hours and I’ve been freaking out for two days and running around saying crazy-person shit like “check the netstat!” and “evict the cache!” and “recompile for epoll!” when finally I turn to my roommate and I’m like “holy shit, Java just ran out of semaphores!” and she’s like “what?” and I’m like “Java just ran out of semaphores!” and she’s like “I don’t know what that means!” and so then I lose my shit and start maniacally yelling over and over again “I COULD HAVE BEEN A COMP LIT PHD. I COULD HAVE BEEN A COMP LIT PHD. I COULD HAVE BEEN A COMP LIT PHD.”
