Matt Langer

Startup Diary, 10/06/09

• 8:15pm: leave the office
• 8:18pm: board the subway
• 8:24pm: meet first date for drinks
• 10:06pm: realize the reason you’re slurring your words after only two drinks is that you forgot to eat all day
• 10:24pm: cash out, end date
• 10:31pm: stop off at the office on the way home; discover CEO and producer eating bad Japanese delivery
• 10:40pm: leave office with CEO and producer for more drinks
• 10:52pm-1:14am: drink
• 1:15am: cash out
• 1:17am: CEO, after two drinks and at least a meal in this calendar day, convinces you, drinker of now five drinks on an empty stomach, that he’s too drunk to drive his Vespa home; asks you to take it home
• 1:17am: you’ve never driven a Vespa before; panic
• 1:17am: CEO tells you it’s just like riding a bike
• 1:17am: panic; ask CEO if he’s putting your life on the line solely because he wants you to bring his Vespa back to the office in the morning because he’s too fucking lazy to travel the one subway stop required to retrieve it the following day
• 1:17am: CEO gives you some line about how he wants you to “experience new adventures”
• 1:17am: realize suddenly what it feels like to be an investor
• 1:17am: crash course in driving a Vespa
• 1:17am: tell your CEO you’re going to die
• 1:17am: CEO tells you not to scratch his Vespa if you’re going to die
• 1:17am: tell your CEO you’re going to die
• 1:18am: start the vespa
• 1:18am: do practice circle in the parking lot
• 1:18am: exit parking lot; encounter traffic
• 1:19am: narrowly avoid Comcast van parked on side of road
• 1:20am: hang left from Charles onto Beacon
• 1:21am: notice cop car with active lights and sirens at your immediate 6
• 1:21am: wet your pants
• 1:21am: police car drives past; breathe sigh of relief
• 1:22am: arrive safely at home
• 1:22am: wet your pants