Matt Langer

I also do a twitter.

Dec 24 2010

All I Want For Christmas

I wish I were a superhero.

Not the kind with a cape or the fawning Lois Lane figure or any special superpowers; just a humble, homegrown, populist, masked vigilante.

They would call me a man of the people.

I’d skulk at night in dark city alleyways, protecting New York against the greatest foe it’s ever known—and when he came I’d serve justice with extreme prejudice, sledgehammer in hand, pummeling the living shit out of his cheap mid-nineties Japanese import until that motherfucking car alarm stopped blaring at 3:30am.

[cut to Gary Oldman saying I was the hero Gotham deserves]

Posted at 11:51 AM 17 notes Tagged: aaaaaand scene

  1. megnolia said: um that car alarm on the block where dandy is ALWAYS goes off. they’re the worst. also the guys who honk for two hours until they can get into their garage.
  2. 3countylaugh reblogged this from langer and added:
    This is your audience, I’m telling you… More Hero novels!
  3. vidar said: would you call yourself “The Rectifier”?
  4. tzekomah said: If you need an asian sidekick, let me know..
  5. langer posted this