Posted 1 month ago

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WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND

So we’ve got this cleaning lady in the office right now and she comes by my desk and points at it and says “clean?” and I kind of panic because my shit is everywhere and I start saying to her “oh god I’m sorry it’s all such a mess, everything, my desk, my life, it’s just, it’s all a mess right now”, and so I clean up the three empty cigarette packs and six empty packages of gum and twenty empty gum wrappers and four granola bar wrappers and two bottles of water and three empty coffee cups and walk away from my computer to take all this shit to the trash and I’m standing there across the office and I see her USING WINDEX ON MY KEYBOARD which is like a serious fucking faux pas because I have this thing about my keyboards, that they’re just like old guitars and they just get better with age and with wear and tear, and I’ve been using the same one for years now and it’s fucking filthy (but it has character) and every key is completely covered with this thick layer of dirt and it’s only on the most frequently used keys that any of the grime is wiped off enough to show even just a hint of their original color, and here she is, just casually and flippantly Windexing away two fucking years of my life, and I’m standing there across the office watching my whole life falling apart right before my eyes and I’m having a meltdown and I even stop my coworker who’s headed into the bathroom and ask him to hold me because THIS LADY IS WINDEXING MY KEYBOARD AND WE DONT SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL HER TO STOP and then I get back to my desk and the ‘Enter’ key was ripped off, which was one of the few keys that had most of its grime removed because I use that key like probably fourteen thousand times a day, and I try to put it back on but it’s fucking broken and now the keyboard is shot and it’s like here’s this thing, this symbolic, meaningful thing in my life that now I’ve got to fucking throw away and start over and Jesus Christ my life is a mess.

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  1. bathtime reblogged this from langer
  2. doree said: I hope you’re really hungover now.
  3. inky reblogged this from langer and added:
    sentence. It’s
  4. unburyingthelead said: Did she really break your keyboard? Vigor!
  5. lulzy reblogged this from langer and added:
    #STRESS #GUESS WHO’S GOING DRINKING AFTER WORK
  6. everythinginthesky reblogged this from langer
  7. tanya77 reblogged this from langer
  8. lazenby said: gonna be in bkln later this month. gonna bring a dead afghan child covered in gulf oil and drug money to beat you with. r u on latitude?

 

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